and you said cock pushups were impossible
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
