So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize