I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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