You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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