You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
