I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
