The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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