Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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