My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
