I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
