I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
