I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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