Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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