I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize