...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
