That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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