I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
