I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
