wakey wakey hands off snakey
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.