the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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