MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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