Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now