It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...