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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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• (626): View more from California

  dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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• (516): View more from New York

  oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.

  (206): View more from Washington

  That would've been embarrassing.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.

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• (951): View more from California

  It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist

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