wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
