Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize