Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it glows. i had to have it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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