WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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