I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
