The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
