her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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