I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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