I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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