For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
