Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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