Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This toilet bowl is my home.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
