4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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