I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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