9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
