SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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