i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
