i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
