I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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