it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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