is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
