that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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