i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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