I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I want a musical about memes.
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