I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
