not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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