You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize