Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
