Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
