This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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