I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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