She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
