Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
