So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize